maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
