whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I could make wine with my vomit
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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