that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
