he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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