Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
