whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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