I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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