We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
