ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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