I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize