This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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