ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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