ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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