Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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