Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
