Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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