I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
