I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
