he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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