with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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