Sry I called you an 8
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Vodka?
Forever.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
