yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
