I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
