he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
