Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
