I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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