Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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