I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize