DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
