community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
