lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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