I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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