I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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