i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
