Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
