Banned from zoo.
Again?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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