My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
