12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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