have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
