You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
