But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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