i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
