So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
