i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize