I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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