i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
