The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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