i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
