Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
