soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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