Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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