$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
