Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
