Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
