i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
