Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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