I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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