I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
