I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
