I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
