Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
