bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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