I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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